Put some humor into your wedding ceremony
One word of advice: Keep it tasteful! Older relatives and parents of young children present do not want to hear crude jokes. There are plenty of light-hearted and fun wedding readings that are appropriate for all ages. A few tips to remember are:
1. Don’t go overboard with the humor--keep it G rated!
2. Avoid inside jokes that will just confuse your guests.
3. Share any vows you write with your partner prior to the big day—you do not want bad surprises!
Humor can get us through some very sticky moments. In days past, the idea of incorporating humor into a marriage ceremony was considered a sacrilege. Most weddings were held in churches or the judge's chambers--neither of which is generally considered a place of fun. Weddings were more about ritual than celebration and there was no tolerance for silliness. Thank heavens those days are past and couples now have options to customize their ceremony to reflect their personalities. And since most of us thrive on humor, there's no reason to leave it out of the ceremony. Infusing your ceremony with some lightness and playfulness that will leave you relaxed, your guests energized, and conclude with you feeling, "Wow! That was really "us!"
1. Don’t go overboard with the humor--keep it G rated!
2. Avoid inside jokes that will just confuse your guests.
3. Share any vows you write with your partner prior to the big day—you do not want bad surprises!
Humor can get us through some very sticky moments. In days past, the idea of incorporating humor into a marriage ceremony was considered a sacrilege. Most weddings were held in churches or the judge's chambers--neither of which is generally considered a place of fun. Weddings were more about ritual than celebration and there was no tolerance for silliness. Thank heavens those days are past and couples now have options to customize their ceremony to reflect their personalities. And since most of us thrive on humor, there's no reason to leave it out of the ceremony. Infusing your ceremony with some lightness and playfulness that will leave you relaxed, your guests energized, and conclude with you feeling, "Wow! That was really "us!"
It's difficult to script humor. An experienced and creative Officiant will always be on the alert for such opportunities and can incorporate them into the ceremony if you wish. You can assist your Officiant by telling amusing stories about your courtship. Did he propose in a creative way? Does she have an unusual pet peeve? How did you meet? What makes you laugh together? What passions do you share? How did that first meeting with her parents go? There are many possibilities if you stop to think about it.
Have each member of the bridal party be introduced as they start down the aisle. You can have an announcer say something like, "introducing Jason, the best friend and college roommate of the groom. Jason has known Groom for 10 years and is eternally grateful to Bride for taming Groom's wild side and helping him calm down. Without her, Groom never would have passed Western Civ." This not only allows for a fun opening, but it gives the guests some knowledge of just who your bridal party members are. You can end with the bride by saying, "And now, please stand for our bride, introduced for the last time as Ms. (First name) (Maiden name).
Consider a funny reading as opposed (or in addition) to a Biblical or serious one. Dr. Seuss's "Oh the Places You'll Go" is fun and appropriate for a wedding. Include an amusing line in your vows. There's nothing wrong with promising to love him unconditionally, to vow to comfort you when his team loses and drink beer with him when they win. From his end, he can vow to spend the rest of his days making her happy and promise to always put the seat down, replace the toilet tissue roll and bring her flowers once per month. Although I'd refrain from using a vow that is being circulated on the Internet, "May all of our ups and downs come only in the bedroom." Try that one in front of 150 relatives and the loud thump you hear will be both of your mothers hitting the ground in simultaneous dead faints.
If amusing vows aren't your thing, then write or adapt a blessing that your Officiant or a family member can read that includes a funny line. Consider something like this for a couple of diehard sports fans:
May your joys be as bright as the morning, your years of happiness as numerous as the stars in the heavens, and your troubles but shadows that fade in the sunlight of love. And may the only time your home be divided be when the Diamondbacks and the Yankees play in the World Series. (Insert a line to suit your own situation.)
Have each member of the bridal party be introduced as they start down the aisle. You can have an announcer say something like, "introducing Jason, the best friend and college roommate of the groom. Jason has known Groom for 10 years and is eternally grateful to Bride for taming Groom's wild side and helping him calm down. Without her, Groom never would have passed Western Civ." This not only allows for a fun opening, but it gives the guests some knowledge of just who your bridal party members are. You can end with the bride by saying, "And now, please stand for our bride, introduced for the last time as Ms. (First name) (Maiden name).
Consider a funny reading as opposed (or in addition) to a Biblical or serious one. Dr. Seuss's "Oh the Places You'll Go" is fun and appropriate for a wedding. Include an amusing line in your vows. There's nothing wrong with promising to love him unconditionally, to vow to comfort you when his team loses and drink beer with him when they win. From his end, he can vow to spend the rest of his days making her happy and promise to always put the seat down, replace the toilet tissue roll and bring her flowers once per month. Although I'd refrain from using a vow that is being circulated on the Internet, "May all of our ups and downs come only in the bedroom." Try that one in front of 150 relatives and the loud thump you hear will be both of your mothers hitting the ground in simultaneous dead faints.
If amusing vows aren't your thing, then write or adapt a blessing that your Officiant or a family member can read that includes a funny line. Consider something like this for a couple of diehard sports fans:
May your joys be as bright as the morning, your years of happiness as numerous as the stars in the heavens, and your troubles but shadows that fade in the sunlight of love. And may the only time your home be divided be when the Diamondbacks and the Yankees play in the World Series. (Insert a line to suit your own situation.)
Oh the Places You’ll Go - Dr Seuss
Congratulations! Today is your day. You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away! You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the couple who’ll decide where to go. You’ll look up and down streets. Look ‘em over with care. About some you will say, “We don’t choose to go there. ”With your heads full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down, any not-so-good street. And you may not find any you’ll want to go down .In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air,Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you. And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.
OH! THE PLACES YOU’LL GO! You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights! You’ll join the high fliers who soar to great heights !You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have all the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang, and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest. Except when you don’t. Because sometimes, you won’t. You’ll get mixed up of course, as you already know.You’ll get mixed up with so many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with great care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft .And never mix up your right foot with your left. And will you succeed? Yes! You will indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.) KIDS, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS! So, be your name Buxbaum or Dowrie or Bassor Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to great places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So … get on your way!"
Consider adding some of the following amusing quotes and proverbs on love and marriage:
· Love is like war: Easy to begin but hard to end.
· No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.
· If your wife laughs at your joke, it means you either have a good joke, or a good wife.
· Successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.- German Greer
· The woman cries before the wedding and the man after.- Polish Proverb
· Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.- Anonymous
· The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.- Henry Youngman
· I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem
· Marriage is a lot like the army: everyone complains, but you'd be surprised at the large number that re-enlist.- James Garner
· Women complain about sex more than men. Their gripes fall into two major categories: 1. Not enough; 2. Too much. - Ann Landers
· Both of my ex-wives closed their eyes when making love, because they didn't want to see me having a good time.- Joseph Wambaugh
· Basically, my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats. - Woody Allen
· Why can't a woman be more like a man?"- Alan Jay Lerner
· Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash
· I'm the only man who has a marriage license made out, 'To Whom It May Concern. - Mickey Rooney
· Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. - Robert Frost
· Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
· To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.- Excerpt by Ogden Nash
· Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.- Mark Twain
· There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.- Homer
· Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw
· I told someone I was getting married, and they said, 'Have you picked a date yet?' I said, 'Wow, you can bring a date to your own wedding?" What a country! - Yakov Smirnoff
Many couples choose funny wedding vows to reflect their creative and fun-loving side. Using humor is also a great way to add some entertainment to the ceremony that will create a lasting memory for your guests. However, there are a couple of things to keep in mind while writing these types of vows: Where do you begin writing your funny wedding vows? First, think about what you and your partner have in common and what you definitely do not. Is one of you a slob and the other a neat freak? Is one of you a terrible cook and the other fabulous? Next, consider your hobbies and personalities. Are you both sailors? Do you both love a certain sports team? Be creative!
Funny Wedding Vow Idea #1: Add Personal Promises
Perhaps the simplest way to add some humor to your wedding vows is to use mostly traditional vows, but add a line or two for personalization. For example, when Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston were married, Jennifer told Brad “I promise to always make your favorite banana milkshake.” They also promised to “split the difference on the thermostat.” Maybe the bride will vow to let the groom watch his favorite team on Sundays uninterrupted, while the groom vows to take the bride shopping.
Funny Wedding Vow Idea #2: References to Hobbies, Interests, Sports Teams, etc.
“I, Anne, take you Bob, to be my spouse, at the mall or on the golf course, at the computer or with the bridge club, as long as we both shall live.”
“I promise to love and cherish you as much as I do our dog, Buster.”
“I promise to love you as much as I love my credit card and not hold your poor fashion sense against you.”
“I will love you in sickness and in health, from this day forward, until death parts us, or until you become a Yankees fan.”
“I, Joe, promise to love you, Amanda, even through your need to listen to hair bands from the 1980s. I will learn to love Guns n’ Roses, Skid Row, Motley Crue, and Poison as much as I love you. I promise for now and forever not to criticize your music choice.”
Funny Wedding Vow Idea #3: Financial Quips
Instead of “for better or worse, for richer, for poorer…” the bride makes a show of only repeating “for richer.”
Groom says “for better or worse, for richer, for poorer….when you buy your $400 shoes.”
Funny Wedding Vow Idea #4: Using Vows From a Movie or TV Show
Do you have a favorite TV show or movie where the characters were married? You may be able to find the vows the characters spoke online. Here, we have some vows from some popular movies and TV shows.
“I, Craig, take you, Christina, to be my wife, my best friend, and my first mate. Through sickness and health, clear skies and squalls.”
“I, Christina, take you, Craig, to be my best friend and my captain, to be your anchor and your sail, your starboard and your port.” -- Christina to Craig in the movie Wedding Crashers
“For so long, I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding, I turned to a friend for comfort. Instead I found everything I’d ever been looking for my whole life. And now here we are with our future before us. And I only want to spend it with you – my prince, my soul mate, my friend.” -- Monica Gellar to Chandler Bing on the TV show, Friends
“When was it that we fell in love? When we were 18 or 16, maybe 10? I don’t know, ‘cause the truth is, I can’t picture a time when I wasn’t in love with you. I always knew you were the one that could look into my eyes and see my soul. I don’t question your commitment to us, and I know that there’s nothing that we can’t work through. And I accept you as my partner and as my best friend, above all others. It’s a miracle to find the kind of peace and happiness that you’ve given me. And in honor of that miracle, I pledge before our family and friends to love and to cherish you forever.” -- David Silver to Donna Martin on the TV show, Beverly Hills, 90210
“I was thinking of a poem before when I was getting ready, and I think it starts, ‘I carry your heart in my heart. I am never without it. Anywhere I go, you go.’ I’m probably messing the whole thing up, but I think the end goes, ‘And this is the wonder that keeps the starts apart. I carry your heart. I carry it in my heart.’ So I guess what I’m saying is, let’s just try to love each other and persevere.” – Luka Kovac to Abby Lockhart on the TV show ER
“Past my mind, beyond my heart, I love you from my soul. And that’s the space where only you and God dwell.” – Frankie to Vanessa in the movie Madea’s Family Reunion
Funny Wedding Vow Idea # 5: Show Them Who’s the Boss
Minister to Bride: Do you take this man to be your husband? Bride: I do.
Minister to Groom: Do you take this woman to be your wife? Bride: He does.
Funny Wedding Vow Idea #6: The Dr. Seuss Wedding Vows
Minister: Will you take her as your wife? Will you love her all your life?
Groom: Yes, I take her as my wife, Yes, I'll love her all my life.
Minister: Will you have, and also hold Just as you have at this time told?
Groom: Yes, I will have, and I will hold, Just as I have at this time told,
Yes, I will love her all my life As I now take her as my wife.
Funny Wedding Vow Idea #7: Spice up Traditional Phrases
Instead of saying "till death do us part" try using "to infinity and beyond."
Funny Wedding Vow Idea # 8: Rhyming
I John, take you Mary, to be my lawfully wedded wife.
To be together in happiness and strife,
To have and to hold,
Even if your cooking grows mold.
I love you in richness and in debt,
And cherish all moments since we have met.
I promise to love you until the end of my days,
As long as you stay out of my baseball plays.
I pledge to be faithful
Even when we’re old and dull.
**Note: When writing your funny wedding vows, remember that not everyone has the same sense of humor, so try to appeal to the masses—not just your college friends.
However you decide to incorporate it, humor can be an integral part of your wedding ceremony. Make it fun, make it light, make it about who you are as a couple. Just don't make it about a priest, a rabbi and a minister going into a bar!
Congratulations! Today is your day. You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away! You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the couple who’ll decide where to go. You’ll look up and down streets. Look ‘em over with care. About some you will say, “We don’t choose to go there. ”With your heads full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down, any not-so-good street. And you may not find any you’ll want to go down .In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air,Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you. And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.
OH! THE PLACES YOU’LL GO! You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights! You’ll join the high fliers who soar to great heights !You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have all the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang, and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest. Except when you don’t. Because sometimes, you won’t. You’ll get mixed up of course, as you already know.You’ll get mixed up with so many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with great care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft .And never mix up your right foot with your left. And will you succeed? Yes! You will indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.) KIDS, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS! So, be your name Buxbaum or Dowrie or Bassor Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to great places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So … get on your way!"
Consider adding some of the following amusing quotes and proverbs on love and marriage:
· Love is like war: Easy to begin but hard to end.
· No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.
· If your wife laughs at your joke, it means you either have a good joke, or a good wife.
· Successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.- German Greer
· The woman cries before the wedding and the man after.- Polish Proverb
· Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.- Anonymous
· The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.- Henry Youngman
· I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem
· Marriage is a lot like the army: everyone complains, but you'd be surprised at the large number that re-enlist.- James Garner
· Women complain about sex more than men. Their gripes fall into two major categories: 1. Not enough; 2. Too much. - Ann Landers
· Both of my ex-wives closed their eyes when making love, because they didn't want to see me having a good time.- Joseph Wambaugh
· Basically, my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats. - Woody Allen
· Why can't a woman be more like a man?"- Alan Jay Lerner
· Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash
· I'm the only man who has a marriage license made out, 'To Whom It May Concern. - Mickey Rooney
· Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. - Robert Frost
· Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
· To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.- Excerpt by Ogden Nash
· Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.- Mark Twain
· There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.- Homer
· Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw
· I told someone I was getting married, and they said, 'Have you picked a date yet?' I said, 'Wow, you can bring a date to your own wedding?" What a country! - Yakov Smirnoff
Many couples choose funny wedding vows to reflect their creative and fun-loving side. Using humor is also a great way to add some entertainment to the ceremony that will create a lasting memory for your guests. However, there are a couple of things to keep in mind while writing these types of vows: Where do you begin writing your funny wedding vows? First, think about what you and your partner have in common and what you definitely do not. Is one of you a slob and the other a neat freak? Is one of you a terrible cook and the other fabulous? Next, consider your hobbies and personalities. Are you both sailors? Do you both love a certain sports team? Be creative!
Funny Wedding Vow Idea #1: Add Personal Promises
Perhaps the simplest way to add some humor to your wedding vows is to use mostly traditional vows, but add a line or two for personalization. For example, when Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston were married, Jennifer told Brad “I promise to always make your favorite banana milkshake.” They also promised to “split the difference on the thermostat.” Maybe the bride will vow to let the groom watch his favorite team on Sundays uninterrupted, while the groom vows to take the bride shopping.
Funny Wedding Vow Idea #2: References to Hobbies, Interests, Sports Teams, etc.
“I, Anne, take you Bob, to be my spouse, at the mall or on the golf course, at the computer or with the bridge club, as long as we both shall live.”
“I promise to love and cherish you as much as I do our dog, Buster.”
“I promise to love you as much as I love my credit card and not hold your poor fashion sense against you.”
“I will love you in sickness and in health, from this day forward, until death parts us, or until you become a Yankees fan.”
“I, Joe, promise to love you, Amanda, even through your need to listen to hair bands from the 1980s. I will learn to love Guns n’ Roses, Skid Row, Motley Crue, and Poison as much as I love you. I promise for now and forever not to criticize your music choice.”
Funny Wedding Vow Idea #3: Financial Quips
Instead of “for better or worse, for richer, for poorer…” the bride makes a show of only repeating “for richer.”
Groom says “for better or worse, for richer, for poorer….when you buy your $400 shoes.”
Funny Wedding Vow Idea #4: Using Vows From a Movie or TV Show
Do you have a favorite TV show or movie where the characters were married? You may be able to find the vows the characters spoke online. Here, we have some vows from some popular movies and TV shows.
“I, Craig, take you, Christina, to be my wife, my best friend, and my first mate. Through sickness and health, clear skies and squalls.”
“I, Christina, take you, Craig, to be my best friend and my captain, to be your anchor and your sail, your starboard and your port.” -- Christina to Craig in the movie Wedding Crashers
“For so long, I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding, I turned to a friend for comfort. Instead I found everything I’d ever been looking for my whole life. And now here we are with our future before us. And I only want to spend it with you – my prince, my soul mate, my friend.” -- Monica Gellar to Chandler Bing on the TV show, Friends
“When was it that we fell in love? When we were 18 or 16, maybe 10? I don’t know, ‘cause the truth is, I can’t picture a time when I wasn’t in love with you. I always knew you were the one that could look into my eyes and see my soul. I don’t question your commitment to us, and I know that there’s nothing that we can’t work through. And I accept you as my partner and as my best friend, above all others. It’s a miracle to find the kind of peace and happiness that you’ve given me. And in honor of that miracle, I pledge before our family and friends to love and to cherish you forever.” -- David Silver to Donna Martin on the TV show, Beverly Hills, 90210
“I was thinking of a poem before when I was getting ready, and I think it starts, ‘I carry your heart in my heart. I am never without it. Anywhere I go, you go.’ I’m probably messing the whole thing up, but I think the end goes, ‘And this is the wonder that keeps the starts apart. I carry your heart. I carry it in my heart.’ So I guess what I’m saying is, let’s just try to love each other and persevere.” – Luka Kovac to Abby Lockhart on the TV show ER
“Past my mind, beyond my heart, I love you from my soul. And that’s the space where only you and God dwell.” – Frankie to Vanessa in the movie Madea’s Family Reunion
Funny Wedding Vow Idea # 5: Show Them Who’s the Boss
Minister to Bride: Do you take this man to be your husband? Bride: I do.
Minister to Groom: Do you take this woman to be your wife? Bride: He does.
Funny Wedding Vow Idea #6: The Dr. Seuss Wedding Vows
Minister: Will you take her as your wife? Will you love her all your life?
Groom: Yes, I take her as my wife, Yes, I'll love her all my life.
Minister: Will you have, and also hold Just as you have at this time told?
Groom: Yes, I will have, and I will hold, Just as I have at this time told,
Yes, I will love her all my life As I now take her as my wife.
Funny Wedding Vow Idea #7: Spice up Traditional Phrases
Instead of saying "till death do us part" try using "to infinity and beyond."
Funny Wedding Vow Idea # 8: Rhyming
I John, take you Mary, to be my lawfully wedded wife.
To be together in happiness and strife,
To have and to hold,
Even if your cooking grows mold.
I love you in richness and in debt,
And cherish all moments since we have met.
I promise to love you until the end of my days,
As long as you stay out of my baseball plays.
I pledge to be faithful
Even when we’re old and dull.
**Note: When writing your funny wedding vows, remember that not everyone has the same sense of humor, so try to appeal to the masses—not just your college friends.
However you decide to incorporate it, humor can be an integral part of your wedding ceremony. Make it fun, make it light, make it about who you are as a couple. Just don't make it about a priest, a rabbi and a minister going into a bar!
