Civil or Religious?
A civil ceremony is a wedding that takes place without specific religious affiliation or none whatsoever, and meets the legal requirements of the locale. A government or civil official perform the ceremony according to the laws of the State of Florida.
A religious ceremony is a wedding that focuses on specific religious affiliation, traditions, and customs of the bridal couple. Although the details are ultimately between the couple and God, the scriptural example encourages believers to enter into marriage in a way that honors God's covenant relationship, submits to the laws of God first and then the laws of the land, and gives public demonstration of the holy commitment that is being made.
Civil Ceremony
All in all, a civil ceremony is much more flexible for many in today's world. Mixed marriages are becoming more common, and many couples are opting to have a civil wedding ceremony instead of a religious ceremony. This allows them to include incorporate aspects of each of their religions if they wish, write their own vows and have any type of wedding theme they want, whereas a typical religious ceremony tends to restrict much of this. A civil ceremony contains no religious elements (except for whatever the bridal couple may add) and can be performed in a judge's chambers or a venue of your choice within the State of Florida.
If a couple decides on a Civil Ceremony, they should consult with the officiant about the ceremony. Many have a book of ceremonies or package options that can be personalized. A courthouse ceremony has the standard "do you take… I now pronounce you" ceremony, which is fine for the couple alone. However, if you are doing the ceremony in front of friends and family, it’s nice if there is language in the script to include them, include children either one may have, and/or personalize the ceremony. Many officiants welcome personal vows to be added to the ceremony.
Civil wedding ceremonies tend to be a favorite with the budget minded couple, since they are usually less expensive in the long run. The most important thing to remember is to do what makes you happy as a couple, after all it's your wedding.
Religious Ceremony
No matter what religion, the concept of uniting two individuals in matrimony is universal. However, the manner in which the ceremony is performed may be quite different. If you're the bride & groom, you'll want to be familiar with the basic customs of your religion. This can be carried out in a simple, private ceremony with only a few witnesses, or a large traditional wedding. The details are not what's important, but rather, the couple's covenant commitment before God and men. Believers of different faiths submit to the laws of God first and submit to governmental authority and recognize the laws of the land, as long as that authority does not require them to break one of the laws of God. If you're a guest, you'll want to familiarize yourself with these basic religious customs so that you will appreciate their meaning.
An example of a Christian marriage is characterized and governed by Christian principles that are taught in the Bible. Please note that a Christian marriage is not defined by the teachings of a church. A Christian marriage adheres to the standards of marriage revealed in the Holy Bible regardless of a church's teachings and practices.
Let's look at scripture from the New Testament that gives us more light on what a Christian marriage is.
(Matthew 19:4-6 KJV) And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, {5} And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? {6} Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
This particular scripture is paramount in understanding what a true Christian or godly marriage really is. Let's dissect this scripture further. Keep in mind that this scripture is Jesus' response to a question about divorce. God made male and female from the beginning. We see that a man should leave his father and mother to be joined to his wife actively. The two shall be one flesh. The union of marriage is just that-a union. Two people come together and form one unit – a union in Marriage. That is very important in marriage management. Next Jesus says in so many words that no one should take apart what God has put together.
When you're not Religious, but your Parents are
One of the stresses that many couples face in planning their wedding ceremony is when their religious beliefs (or lack thereof) conflict with those of their parents or grandparents. Gone are the days when the God-fearing children of God-fearing parents stood complacently through cookie-cutter ceremonies performed at the local church in exactly the same way (and in some cases by the same minister!) as their parents before them.
With more and more couples choosing to marry outside of churches and create innovative ceremonies that reflect their own personal love story, it is often a struggle to balance the more traditional religious beliefs of older family members. Some couples go into total black and white mode-either capitulating to their parent's wishes or conversely adopting an "it's our wedding day and we'll do it any way we please" attitude. Both of these are viable options, but the former may have you chastising yourselves for years because the ceremony was not "yours," and the latter might cause you to be filled with regret down the road for not showing the slightest respect for your parent's preferences.
For those of you who prefer a middle ground, there are ways in which you can include a religious presence (or as one bride delicately put it, "a nod to a higher power") without compromising your beliefs. Here are some tips:
1. Use the generic word "God" as opposed to more organized-religion type names (such as Jesus, Yahweh, Jehovah, Heavenly Father, etc,). The term "God" can mean different things to different people, so when you and your spouse-to-be hear it in the ceremony you might interpret it as "the spirit of good within us" and while your grandmother has visions of the fire and brimstone Baptist God or the "Father, Son and Holy Spirit" Catholic God. It's all Go(o)d.
2. Plan a ceremony that is primarily secular, but include a slightly religious opening prayer or final blessing. As a bonus, have one of your religious family members read the final blessing. It will be an honor. Plus it comes at the end, so it's what will stick in their minds! Florida Nuptials has several slightly religious options available in the economical Basic Plan, and a tremendous selection of varying degrees of religious options available in the Classic Custom Plan.
3. Add a prayer of thanks to your parents. The Officiant can read it and this is a fitting place to insert a God reference.
4. Have your Officiant wear a robe that is ministerial in nature. This will send the subtle message that "God is present" without saying a word. Florida Nuptials offers several different ways for your Officiant to dress for your event, to include a robe of the clergy.
5. Include a traditional religious component to your ceremony, but give it a secular twist. It will have meaning to both you and your folks. For example, the unity candle is a Christian tradition, yet the symbolism of "two lights coming together to form one united flame" is universally poignant no matter which God one worships--or doesn't. Getting married under the Chuppah will placate many Jewish parents. For you, it can simply be a beautiful arch.
6. Put together a ceremony that is all about you, but when you recite your vows, recite the traditional religious ones with which your parents are familiar with. If they are too God-like for your taste, then after the vows are exchanged, have your Officiant say "and now John and Mary have prepared some special words that they would like to share with one another". Then you can speak from the heart and be as secular as you like.
7. Insert one biblical reading into your ceremony. It can be a beautifully poignant one about love, which will appeal to you, while your folks will resonate with the religious roots. Corinthians is an excellent example of incorporating a biblical reading with the elements of how to have a successful marriage, without being overly religious in nature. Florida Nuptials offers an opening prayer, and the reading of Corinthians in the wedding ceremony, during a Sand Ceremony, or with a Shell Blessings ceremony.
8. If a reading doesn't fly with you, then try a religious song. If you feel conflicted about the words, then play the melody softly in the background at some point in your ceremony. Your parents will be touched.
9. If you simply can't abide by any mention of God in your ceremony, then keep it secular and consider adding a prayer or scripture passage on the inside cover of your program.
10. If none of the above work for you, then hope (pray?) that someone sneezes during your ceremony, giving a well-intended relative the chance to save the day by calling out "God Bless you!" Hey! Your folks will take it any way they can get it!
If harmonizing different religious beliefs seems daunting, here's a tip to make it easier. When you initially sit down to write your ceremony, ignore the preferences of your family members. Work with your Officiant to write it exactly as you want it. Then, go back and implement one or two of the suggestions above. Read it over and see how it feels. Your Officiant should allow you to tweak the ceremony until it feels right. That's why it's important to begin the ceremony-writing process at least two months in advance of your wedding day.
And from a fairness standpoint, if your parents are helping with wedding expenses, don't expect them to foot the bill for the Officiant if the ceremony is not in line with their beliefs. Handle this expense on your own. It will also save you from the guilt trip your parents might be tempted to send you on should they end up paying for something in which they had no input. Yes, it's your day, but as the generous and loving people that you are, you will want everyone to feel at ease on your wedding day.
A religious ceremony is a wedding that focuses on specific religious affiliation, traditions, and customs of the bridal couple. Although the details are ultimately between the couple and God, the scriptural example encourages believers to enter into marriage in a way that honors God's covenant relationship, submits to the laws of God first and then the laws of the land, and gives public demonstration of the holy commitment that is being made.
Civil Ceremony
All in all, a civil ceremony is much more flexible for many in today's world. Mixed marriages are becoming more common, and many couples are opting to have a civil wedding ceremony instead of a religious ceremony. This allows them to include incorporate aspects of each of their religions if they wish, write their own vows and have any type of wedding theme they want, whereas a typical religious ceremony tends to restrict much of this. A civil ceremony contains no religious elements (except for whatever the bridal couple may add) and can be performed in a judge's chambers or a venue of your choice within the State of Florida.
If a couple decides on a Civil Ceremony, they should consult with the officiant about the ceremony. Many have a book of ceremonies or package options that can be personalized. A courthouse ceremony has the standard "do you take… I now pronounce you" ceremony, which is fine for the couple alone. However, if you are doing the ceremony in front of friends and family, it’s nice if there is language in the script to include them, include children either one may have, and/or personalize the ceremony. Many officiants welcome personal vows to be added to the ceremony.
Civil wedding ceremonies tend to be a favorite with the budget minded couple, since they are usually less expensive in the long run. The most important thing to remember is to do what makes you happy as a couple, after all it's your wedding.
Religious Ceremony
No matter what religion, the concept of uniting two individuals in matrimony is universal. However, the manner in which the ceremony is performed may be quite different. If you're the bride & groom, you'll want to be familiar with the basic customs of your religion. This can be carried out in a simple, private ceremony with only a few witnesses, or a large traditional wedding. The details are not what's important, but rather, the couple's covenant commitment before God and men. Believers of different faiths submit to the laws of God first and submit to governmental authority and recognize the laws of the land, as long as that authority does not require them to break one of the laws of God. If you're a guest, you'll want to familiarize yourself with these basic religious customs so that you will appreciate their meaning.
An example of a Christian marriage is characterized and governed by Christian principles that are taught in the Bible. Please note that a Christian marriage is not defined by the teachings of a church. A Christian marriage adheres to the standards of marriage revealed in the Holy Bible regardless of a church's teachings and practices.
Let's look at scripture from the New Testament that gives us more light on what a Christian marriage is.
(Matthew 19:4-6 KJV) And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, {5} And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? {6} Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
This particular scripture is paramount in understanding what a true Christian or godly marriage really is. Let's dissect this scripture further. Keep in mind that this scripture is Jesus' response to a question about divorce. God made male and female from the beginning. We see that a man should leave his father and mother to be joined to his wife actively. The two shall be one flesh. The union of marriage is just that-a union. Two people come together and form one unit – a union in Marriage. That is very important in marriage management. Next Jesus says in so many words that no one should take apart what God has put together.
When you're not Religious, but your Parents are
One of the stresses that many couples face in planning their wedding ceremony is when their religious beliefs (or lack thereof) conflict with those of their parents or grandparents. Gone are the days when the God-fearing children of God-fearing parents stood complacently through cookie-cutter ceremonies performed at the local church in exactly the same way (and in some cases by the same minister!) as their parents before them.
With more and more couples choosing to marry outside of churches and create innovative ceremonies that reflect their own personal love story, it is often a struggle to balance the more traditional religious beliefs of older family members. Some couples go into total black and white mode-either capitulating to their parent's wishes or conversely adopting an "it's our wedding day and we'll do it any way we please" attitude. Both of these are viable options, but the former may have you chastising yourselves for years because the ceremony was not "yours," and the latter might cause you to be filled with regret down the road for not showing the slightest respect for your parent's preferences.
For those of you who prefer a middle ground, there are ways in which you can include a religious presence (or as one bride delicately put it, "a nod to a higher power") without compromising your beliefs. Here are some tips:
1. Use the generic word "God" as opposed to more organized-religion type names (such as Jesus, Yahweh, Jehovah, Heavenly Father, etc,). The term "God" can mean different things to different people, so when you and your spouse-to-be hear it in the ceremony you might interpret it as "the spirit of good within us" and while your grandmother has visions of the fire and brimstone Baptist God or the "Father, Son and Holy Spirit" Catholic God. It's all Go(o)d.
2. Plan a ceremony that is primarily secular, but include a slightly religious opening prayer or final blessing. As a bonus, have one of your religious family members read the final blessing. It will be an honor. Plus it comes at the end, so it's what will stick in their minds! Florida Nuptials has several slightly religious options available in the economical Basic Plan, and a tremendous selection of varying degrees of religious options available in the Classic Custom Plan.
3. Add a prayer of thanks to your parents. The Officiant can read it and this is a fitting place to insert a God reference.
4. Have your Officiant wear a robe that is ministerial in nature. This will send the subtle message that "God is present" without saying a word. Florida Nuptials offers several different ways for your Officiant to dress for your event, to include a robe of the clergy.
5. Include a traditional religious component to your ceremony, but give it a secular twist. It will have meaning to both you and your folks. For example, the unity candle is a Christian tradition, yet the symbolism of "two lights coming together to form one united flame" is universally poignant no matter which God one worships--or doesn't. Getting married under the Chuppah will placate many Jewish parents. For you, it can simply be a beautiful arch.
6. Put together a ceremony that is all about you, but when you recite your vows, recite the traditional religious ones with which your parents are familiar with. If they are too God-like for your taste, then after the vows are exchanged, have your Officiant say "and now John and Mary have prepared some special words that they would like to share with one another". Then you can speak from the heart and be as secular as you like.
7. Insert one biblical reading into your ceremony. It can be a beautifully poignant one about love, which will appeal to you, while your folks will resonate with the religious roots. Corinthians is an excellent example of incorporating a biblical reading with the elements of how to have a successful marriage, without being overly religious in nature. Florida Nuptials offers an opening prayer, and the reading of Corinthians in the wedding ceremony, during a Sand Ceremony, or with a Shell Blessings ceremony.
8. If a reading doesn't fly with you, then try a religious song. If you feel conflicted about the words, then play the melody softly in the background at some point in your ceremony. Your parents will be touched.
9. If you simply can't abide by any mention of God in your ceremony, then keep it secular and consider adding a prayer or scripture passage on the inside cover of your program.
10. If none of the above work for you, then hope (pray?) that someone sneezes during your ceremony, giving a well-intended relative the chance to save the day by calling out "God Bless you!" Hey! Your folks will take it any way they can get it!
If harmonizing different religious beliefs seems daunting, here's a tip to make it easier. When you initially sit down to write your ceremony, ignore the preferences of your family members. Work with your Officiant to write it exactly as you want it. Then, go back and implement one or two of the suggestions above. Read it over and see how it feels. Your Officiant should allow you to tweak the ceremony until it feels right. That's why it's important to begin the ceremony-writing process at least two months in advance of your wedding day.
And from a fairness standpoint, if your parents are helping with wedding expenses, don't expect them to foot the bill for the Officiant if the ceremony is not in line with their beliefs. Handle this expense on your own. It will also save you from the guilt trip your parents might be tempted to send you on should they end up paying for something in which they had no input. Yes, it's your day, but as the generous and loving people that you are, you will want everyone to feel at ease on your wedding day.