To rehearse or not to rehearse, now there's a question!
Manage Your Own Wedding Rehearsal
One thing that can substantially raise the fee charged by your wedding Officiant is the need to have their presence at your rehearsal. This is a justifiable expense, for many times the Officiant is giving up the chance to perform another wedding during the time they are conducting your rehearsal. Not to mention that more of the Officiant’s time is involved with a rehearsal, than the actual ceremony itself. However, it is often an expense that the bridal couple doesn’t need to incur. It is pretty easy to facilitate a rehearsal without having your Officiant in attendance.
There are some simple steps to make it a breeze. It is assumed that you have worked with your Officiant and have decided on your ceremony. If you haven't, then you don't know what is going to be said , and seriously recommend you find another officiant– FAST! Have your wedding script with you, follow the steps outlined below, and you'll have a practice session that runs smoothly in less than 45 minutes. On to the rehearsal dinner!
If you are having your ceremony at the same location as your reception, then the site might provide you with a coordinator to run your rehearsal at no additional charge. It certainly doesn’t hurt to ask, and a coordinator is invaluable. They know their venue and how to make things flow smoothly. Rely on them, and they might even run the rehearsal for you if you give them the script.
If a coordinator is not an option, than it's better for you to turn the management of the rehearsal over to a relative or friend relative who is just a tad bossy. Choose someone who is assertive enough to get folks to pay attention, but not overbearing to your wedding party members.
1. Start in the middle. Line up your entire wedding party exactly where they will stand during the ceremony. As the audience sees you, men should be on the right, women on the left. Next to the groom should be his best man and next to the bride will be her maid of honor. Groomsmen will stand to the right of the best man, and bridesmaids will stand to the left of the maid of honor . All party members should angle their bodies slightly so that they are facing toward the bride and groom. Those on the outside should step forward, if possible, so that the wedding party forms a "V" with the bride and groom in the middle. Have someone who is not in the wedding party view the lineup from the back of the room to see if everyone is centered and evenly spaced. If you want to be really precise and your venue allows it, you can place tape on the floor to mark the place. Write down the order of the groomsmen and bridesmaids you decided upon on your script.
2. Use the ceremony headings only. It's not necessary to read through the entire ceremony. Your officiant will have that covered at the wedding, so just run through the different parts by using the headings. Things to be looking for: determine at what point you want to pass the flowers (at the beginning or before the vows), determine who will have the rings and how they will be presented to the officiant, determine where in the ceremony the bride and groom will face the Officiant, face each other, or turn toward guests, if there are ceremony "props" such as a sand ceremony, and make sure you know where they will be during the ceremony. If you're really nervous about speaking in public, you may want to practice your vows at the rehearsal. A good Officiant will break up the vows into small sections for you to repeat, and not overload you. If you have readers or singers, they might want to practice their piece as well.
3. Practice the recessional After the kiss, the bride will retrieve her bouquet from the maid of honor and bridal couple will face the guests. The officiant will introduce you as Mr. & Mrs. for the first time, the recessional music starts, and off you go! Best man and maid of honor will wait until the bridal couple are at the back of the room. The best man will extend his right arm to the maid of honor and they walk out together. The other couples stay put until it is their turn to leave. Select an agreed-upon distance whereby each couple will exit (eg: when the couple in front gets to the fifth row of chairs, then the next couple goes, etc.). In this manner, each couple will leave in uniform fashion, without bunching up. After the last couple exits, the parents and any people sitting in the front row should immediately follow.
4. Practice the processional last. Now that everyone knows where to stand when they are up in the front, the processional should be a piece of cake. You have already determined and written down who will be in the processional and the order, so simply line people up accordingly. Then, start walking. As you did for the recessional. Pick a spot at which each couple or person will begin walking (e.g. when the first couple gets to the front row, the second should begin walking, and when the second gets to that same spot, the third will go, etc.). That way no one bunches up like Keystone Cops!
The bride and the escort (if there is one) should not enter until the entire wedding party is at the front. Generally, the bride will have a separate piece of music than the rest of the wedding party, so that's a good clue as to when to start walking. Also, the officiant will have everyone stand for the bride, so that's when it's time to make the grand entrance.
5. The hand off. This is the trickiest part and will look awkward with no practice. As the bride comes down the aisle, she will be on her father's left arm. When it's time for Dad to be seated, bride should kiss him good-bye. Dad will then walk behind the bride to his seat. (Don't step on that train, Dad!). Bride should hand her flowers to her maid of honor with her left hand near the beginning of the ceremony, or pass them at the Officiant’s request prior to the vow exchange. Groom should extend his left hand to the bride, who will take it with her right hand. He will then "draw her in" to face the officiant. Try it-it's very fluid once you practice it. At this time, the maid of honor can hand both sets of flowers to the next bridesmaid in line and fix the bride's train if needed.
In the case where both parents escort the bride, decide at the rehearsal which parent the bride will kiss first (otherwise you look like a ping-pong ball as you hover indecisively). Mom should turn around and walk to her seat (she'll be seated in the front row on the bride's side) and Dad will proceed to his seat as outlined above.
6. The Summary. Walk through the recessional and processional one more time and you're done. Don't get stressed if your wedding party starts clowning around toward the end of the rehearsal. Everyone always seems to come through on the big day!
Making an Entrance - 10 Ways to get you and your Entourage down the Aisle without a rehearsal
1. Groom waits up front with best man and groomsmen. Bridesmaids enter one by one, unescorted, followed by flower girl/ring-bearer, with Bride entering last. Note: This is the best choice if your numbers of men and women in your bridal party are not equal.
2. Groom wait up front with best man. Groomsmen and bridesmaids enter as couples, followed by children and then Bride.
3. Groom begins processional, either with his best man, or by escorting his mother to her seat. Bridal party to follow as couples, with Bride entering last.
4. Same as #3, except that groom is escorted by both parents.
5. After everyone else is down the aisle, Bride is escorted by her father or both parents.
6. After everyone else is down the aisle, Bride is escorted by her father (or other male escort). Upon arriving at the front row, Bride's mother joins Bride and her father, taking Bride's other arm, and walks the following few steps to meet the groom. (This is a great option if you want to include your mother, but she doesn't want to escort you all the way down the aisle)
7. After the bridal party enters, the Bride and Groom walk in together. Why not start your ceremony as you live your life…together!
8. The bridal party enters. As the Bride begins her entrance, either with one or both parents, she has no flowers. Her father (and mother) hand her a flower and she begins walking down the aisle. At the end of the rows, lining the aisle, the Bride's girlfriends, bridal party, or any family members stand and hand her a flower as she passes by-giving her a hug as they do so. The Bride is gathering her bouquet as she makes her entrance! (Consider having your groom, or your grandmother hand you the last flower.) Once at the front, the maid of honor, who has brought a ribbon just for the occasion, takes the Bride's flowers from her and ties them into a bouquet.
9. Forgo the processional altogether (it's nerve-wracking anyway!). Simply meet and mingle with your guests until the ceremony starts and then have your officiant gather everyone around. It's very informal and intimate.
10. Wow your guests at the start! Dance, skip, ride your bikes, or roller blade in!
One thing that can substantially raise the fee charged by your wedding Officiant is the need to have their presence at your rehearsal. This is a justifiable expense, for many times the Officiant is giving up the chance to perform another wedding during the time they are conducting your rehearsal. Not to mention that more of the Officiant’s time is involved with a rehearsal, than the actual ceremony itself. However, it is often an expense that the bridal couple doesn’t need to incur. It is pretty easy to facilitate a rehearsal without having your Officiant in attendance.
There are some simple steps to make it a breeze. It is assumed that you have worked with your Officiant and have decided on your ceremony. If you haven't, then you don't know what is going to be said , and seriously recommend you find another officiant– FAST! Have your wedding script with you, follow the steps outlined below, and you'll have a practice session that runs smoothly in less than 45 minutes. On to the rehearsal dinner!
If you are having your ceremony at the same location as your reception, then the site might provide you with a coordinator to run your rehearsal at no additional charge. It certainly doesn’t hurt to ask, and a coordinator is invaluable. They know their venue and how to make things flow smoothly. Rely on them, and they might even run the rehearsal for you if you give them the script.
If a coordinator is not an option, than it's better for you to turn the management of the rehearsal over to a relative or friend relative who is just a tad bossy. Choose someone who is assertive enough to get folks to pay attention, but not overbearing to your wedding party members.
1. Start in the middle. Line up your entire wedding party exactly where they will stand during the ceremony. As the audience sees you, men should be on the right, women on the left. Next to the groom should be his best man and next to the bride will be her maid of honor. Groomsmen will stand to the right of the best man, and bridesmaids will stand to the left of the maid of honor . All party members should angle their bodies slightly so that they are facing toward the bride and groom. Those on the outside should step forward, if possible, so that the wedding party forms a "V" with the bride and groom in the middle. Have someone who is not in the wedding party view the lineup from the back of the room to see if everyone is centered and evenly spaced. If you want to be really precise and your venue allows it, you can place tape on the floor to mark the place. Write down the order of the groomsmen and bridesmaids you decided upon on your script.
2. Use the ceremony headings only. It's not necessary to read through the entire ceremony. Your officiant will have that covered at the wedding, so just run through the different parts by using the headings. Things to be looking for: determine at what point you want to pass the flowers (at the beginning or before the vows), determine who will have the rings and how they will be presented to the officiant, determine where in the ceremony the bride and groom will face the Officiant, face each other, or turn toward guests, if there are ceremony "props" such as a sand ceremony, and make sure you know where they will be during the ceremony. If you're really nervous about speaking in public, you may want to practice your vows at the rehearsal. A good Officiant will break up the vows into small sections for you to repeat, and not overload you. If you have readers or singers, they might want to practice their piece as well.
3. Practice the recessional After the kiss, the bride will retrieve her bouquet from the maid of honor and bridal couple will face the guests. The officiant will introduce you as Mr. & Mrs. for the first time, the recessional music starts, and off you go! Best man and maid of honor will wait until the bridal couple are at the back of the room. The best man will extend his right arm to the maid of honor and they walk out together. The other couples stay put until it is their turn to leave. Select an agreed-upon distance whereby each couple will exit (eg: when the couple in front gets to the fifth row of chairs, then the next couple goes, etc.). In this manner, each couple will leave in uniform fashion, without bunching up. After the last couple exits, the parents and any people sitting in the front row should immediately follow.
4. Practice the processional last. Now that everyone knows where to stand when they are up in the front, the processional should be a piece of cake. You have already determined and written down who will be in the processional and the order, so simply line people up accordingly. Then, start walking. As you did for the recessional. Pick a spot at which each couple or person will begin walking (e.g. when the first couple gets to the front row, the second should begin walking, and when the second gets to that same spot, the third will go, etc.). That way no one bunches up like Keystone Cops!
The bride and the escort (if there is one) should not enter until the entire wedding party is at the front. Generally, the bride will have a separate piece of music than the rest of the wedding party, so that's a good clue as to when to start walking. Also, the officiant will have everyone stand for the bride, so that's when it's time to make the grand entrance.
5. The hand off. This is the trickiest part and will look awkward with no practice. As the bride comes down the aisle, she will be on her father's left arm. When it's time for Dad to be seated, bride should kiss him good-bye. Dad will then walk behind the bride to his seat. (Don't step on that train, Dad!). Bride should hand her flowers to her maid of honor with her left hand near the beginning of the ceremony, or pass them at the Officiant’s request prior to the vow exchange. Groom should extend his left hand to the bride, who will take it with her right hand. He will then "draw her in" to face the officiant. Try it-it's very fluid once you practice it. At this time, the maid of honor can hand both sets of flowers to the next bridesmaid in line and fix the bride's train if needed.
In the case where both parents escort the bride, decide at the rehearsal which parent the bride will kiss first (otherwise you look like a ping-pong ball as you hover indecisively). Mom should turn around and walk to her seat (she'll be seated in the front row on the bride's side) and Dad will proceed to his seat as outlined above.
6. The Summary. Walk through the recessional and processional one more time and you're done. Don't get stressed if your wedding party starts clowning around toward the end of the rehearsal. Everyone always seems to come through on the big day!
Making an Entrance - 10 Ways to get you and your Entourage down the Aisle without a rehearsal
1. Groom waits up front with best man and groomsmen. Bridesmaids enter one by one, unescorted, followed by flower girl/ring-bearer, with Bride entering last. Note: This is the best choice if your numbers of men and women in your bridal party are not equal.
2. Groom wait up front with best man. Groomsmen and bridesmaids enter as couples, followed by children and then Bride.
3. Groom begins processional, either with his best man, or by escorting his mother to her seat. Bridal party to follow as couples, with Bride entering last.
4. Same as #3, except that groom is escorted by both parents.
5. After everyone else is down the aisle, Bride is escorted by her father or both parents.
6. After everyone else is down the aisle, Bride is escorted by her father (or other male escort). Upon arriving at the front row, Bride's mother joins Bride and her father, taking Bride's other arm, and walks the following few steps to meet the groom. (This is a great option if you want to include your mother, but she doesn't want to escort you all the way down the aisle)
7. After the bridal party enters, the Bride and Groom walk in together. Why not start your ceremony as you live your life…together!
8. The bridal party enters. As the Bride begins her entrance, either with one or both parents, she has no flowers. Her father (and mother) hand her a flower and she begins walking down the aisle. At the end of the rows, lining the aisle, the Bride's girlfriends, bridal party, or any family members stand and hand her a flower as she passes by-giving her a hug as they do so. The Bride is gathering her bouquet as she makes her entrance! (Consider having your groom, or your grandmother hand you the last flower.) Once at the front, the maid of honor, who has brought a ribbon just for the occasion, takes the Bride's flowers from her and ties them into a bouquet.
9. Forgo the processional altogether (it's nerve-wracking anyway!). Simply meet and mingle with your guests until the ceremony starts and then have your officiant gather everyone around. It's very informal and intimate.
10. Wow your guests at the start! Dance, skip, ride your bikes, or roller blade in!